what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
