i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
