Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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