Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
All the doctor said was why
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
