My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
dude. I can hear the air.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
