What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Randomize
