If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
