So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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