There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
