no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
