If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
how does that bad decision feel?
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