I'm jealous of your bromance
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
