Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
did you just send me my own nude
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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