I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
