Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
