Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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