I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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