I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
