I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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