Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
