Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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