That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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