sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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