I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Someone came in the potted fern
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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