allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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