So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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