That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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