dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
And then he peed in my hair
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