my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
