just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
