Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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