Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
