We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
