There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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