I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
