i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she peed on how many people?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm just crazy horny about you
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
