Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
