But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
