i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Shame is for Republicans.
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