Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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