i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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