I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
