That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
