I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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