He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
