do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
