is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
