I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I think I died a long time ago.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
