i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
