Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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