i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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