She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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