ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Pappa wants mamma naked
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think people are normalizing furries
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
