We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
