just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
