She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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