That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
