Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
